Learning how to Speak

Johannesburg, South Africa

Whenever you move to a new school, you first try to make friends and find your place. But how do you do this? You look for common interests and ways to connect. That’s what I did when I changed schools for the first time.

My name is Aniya, and I was born in Pakistan. My family moved to Johannesburg, South Africa just before I turned three. I spent 10 years there, essentially my whole childhood. Although I was Pakistani, I felt deeply connected to South Africa.

When my dad got a new job, everything changed. We moved all the way to the Philippines. It was exciting, but also nerve-wracking. I had never switched schools before and knew nothing about my new environment, its teaching methods, what people liked, or how to make friends there.

It didn’t take long for me to notice differences in how I spoke. For example, if someone asked me the time, I’d glance at the clock and say, “It’s half past three.” This would earn confused looks because most people just said “3:30” instead. Another time, in swimming class, I told a friend I loved her “costume.” She looked puzzled until I realized that what I called a costume was known as a swimsuit here.

Over time, I started to adopt the way people spoke around me. Phrases like “What do you call this?” became less frequent because I had adjusted to fit in naturally.

Even now, I keep in touch with my friends from South Africa. Whenever we talk, my accent shifts back, and I start using words I grew up with. It feels natural, like slipping into a familiar rhythm. While I’ve changed in many ways, I haven’t forgotten my roots. Instead of changing myself to fit in, I’ve adapted to my surroundings, letting my new experiences shape who I have become.

When I speak to my South African friends, in my original accent, or when I speak to my friends in the Philippines the meaning of what I’m trying to say will always remain the same no matter what words I use to convey it. 

I wonder if you think adapting the way we speak is crucial when building relationships and connecting to others in a new environment.

Aniya Kazmi